Linda and Tony Hamilton returned to North Carolina, leaving Josh in Bradenton, Florida, to recover and resume his climb to the major leagues. For the first time in his life Hamilton was alone.

He struggled through the 2001 season, playing in just 27 games. Hamilton spent most of the 2002 season on the disabled list, battling a variety of injuries, including lingering back problems. By July he was sidelined for the season to undergo back and elbow surgery. The Devil Rays anticipated Hamilton’s arrival for spring training 2003.

That’s when Hamilton’s downward spiral began to accelerate. He began hanging out at a Bradenton tattoo parlor, where Hamilton branded himself with 26 tattoos. It was also the place where he traded his clean image for a life of drugs.

“It’s the first time in my life I couldn’t get a handle on something,” Hamilton told the Tampa Tribune. “I was always growing up being able to do everything with ease. My addiction hit me hard. I didn’t know how to handle it. It had me frustrated. Cocaine doesn’t discriminate. It’ll get anybody. It got me quick. It got me real quick.”

His habit took over, while his baseball career took a back seat. It reflected later that spring when Hamilton reported late for two workouts. After being reassigned, Hamilton disappeared from camp. It would be six weeks before he returned to the team. Less than two weeks later, Hamilton disappeared again. When he returned manager Lou Piniella sent him home, telling him to get his life straight.

‘ Why get sober?’

It was February 18, 2004 and the sports headlines read: Josh Hamilton Suspended For MLB Drug Policy Violations. MLB suspended Hamilton for 30 days and fined him an undisclosed sum for multiple violations of its drug policy.

“I read the paper and saw that I was suspended for the year,” Hamilton said. “At first, I thought: ‘Why get sober?’ I had self-pity. At the same time, a light went on in my head. I said I had to get sober for baseball, for my family, for myself. That’s when I checked myself in.”

Hamilton entered a drug rehab, but made an early exit. In June 2004, ESPN Magazine published a story, chronicling Hamilton’s troubles. Without consent from his agent, Hamilton spoke openly and honestly. His confessions were raw and painful to read. In one excerpt, Hamilton revealed the scars on his hands were self-inflicted:

There was a drug dealer in one of his earlier rehab attempts who was so obnoxious Josh couldn’t stand to be in the same room with him. “It takes a lot for me to want to hurt somebody,” he says, “but I wanted to hurt this guy.” Instead, he left the session, returned to his room, packed up his belongings and sat on the bed. He didn’t hurt the dealer, and part of him felt virtuous for that decision. But he had to hurt something. So he focused his anger on himself.

He lit four cigarettes, one by one, and laid them across the back of his left hand. The business ends rested atop the webbing between his thumb and forefinger. He set his jaw and watched as the embers burned into one of his most valuable assets. The disfiguring heat seared his skin. An acrid mixture of cigarette smoke and scorched flesh overtook the room. Josh saw it and smelled it. His fury blocked the pain.

Hamilton hit rock bottom at age 23. Hamilton was in-and-out of six different rehab programs over two years, failing to complete his required drug program, he was alone and his career was seemingly over until he knocked on the door of Michael Dean Chadwick, a North Carolina minister and counselor.

“I don’t know how he heard about me,” Chadwick told the St. Petersburg Times in a 2005 interview. “He showed up at my house. It was late … I was in bed. I looked in his face and I saw a broken boy who was lost, lonely and desperate for someone who knew where he was. We sat out on my deck most of that night and talked about life …

“Unfortunately when you’re an athlete, anyone in the public eye, you don’t have the luxury of just tripping along life’s trail. You trip and stumble down the mountain and the whole world sees it … What happened to Josh is he took a fall. He was condemned and he was criticized. No one could try to get Josh to rescue himself until he could rescue himself.

“ When I met Josh I took him to the toughest, meanest AA guy I could find. At first he said, ‘This kid has a 90 percent chance of not making it.’ Today, he’ll tell you there’s a very, very, very good chance of making it. I think you’ve just begun to write the Joshua Hamilton story.”

Living Clean, Living a Dream

Friday MLB granted Hamilton limited privileges to participate in extended spring training games. Hamilton, now 25, will be re-evaluated in 10 to 14 days, paving the way for a June 21 return to live play.

It was like a modern day version of Field of Dreams. Josh Hamilton, seemingly a ghost of the baseball past, appeared out of nowhere, arriving at the Vincent A. Naimoli Complex in St. Petersburg Friday morning, just hours after Major League Baseball granted Hamilton limited privileges to participate in extended spring training games.

“I think it’s cool he’s coming back,” Rays outfielder Carl Crawford said Friday night. “I don’t think he’s ever going to stop knowing how to hit. If he can come back and be successful, I’m happy for him because he’s definitely one of the best players I’ve ever seen. If anybody deserves a second chance, it’s him.”

Hamilton remembers what Crawford said one day five years ago, when he and Josh were minor league teammates shagging balls in West Virginia: “Hammy, you’re the best ballplayer I’ve ever seen. Ain’t nobody can do all the things you can do.”

But while former teammates like Crawford, Aubrey Huff, Toby Hall, Jorge Cantu and Rocco Baldelli, all part of the list that passed Hamilton into the majors, prepared for a weekend series against the Blue Jays, hundreds of miles south on I-95, Hamilton was back at square one.

“It feels like Day 1 all over again, like I’ve got to start from the beginning again,” said Hamilton. “That’s the attitude I’m taking … it’s my last chance.”

Now wearing #31, instead of #22, Hamilton picked up where he left off. With Rays president Andrew Friedman looking on, Hamilton gave the Rays management and coaches a small sampling of what they’ve been missing. The Tampa Tribune reported:

In his first workout Friday he hit 12 balls over the fence – three in a row at one point, one ricocheting high off the 40-foot batter’s eye beyond the 400-foot sign in straightaway center field. With each swing, other players stopped what they were doing to watch.

“Very impressive, particularly in view of the time he’s missed,” Friedman said of Hamilton’s slugging. “Obviously it’s a first big step for Josh. Still, there’s a long way to go.

“They said the best way for [Hamilton] to move on with life was through baseball. We’ll be out here for the next nine or 10 days, then we’ll speak with them and take it from there,” Friedman said, meaning whether Hamilton will be allowed to play in minor-league games. “We’re not qualified to give an opinion as to what’s right in his recovery process, so we’ll just take the lead from those guys. [But] in my amateur opinion I think [Friday's workout was] extremely therapeutic.”

Hamilton has lost precious time on the field, but he hasn’t lost that sweet swing that seduced scouts across the country. His father, Tony summed it up best, “The real crime of the past two years is that you’ve denied people your talent.”

Hamilton still has a long way to go and he will be tested – physically and mentally – every step of the way.

“I made the choices to do the things I did,” Hamilton said in a 2005 interview. “I can’t blame anybody but myself. I robbed myself of where I could be right now — maybe in the major leagues. But I think everything happens for a reason, and this is all going to make me a stronger person.”

For Josh Hamilton, who is living the rest of his life one day at a time as he battles drug addiction, Friday was one of the best in a long time.